By Dr. Erik Hofmeister, WCI Columnist
Shortly after I began reading The White Coat Investor blog in 2018, there was a call for judges for the WCI Scholarship. As an academic veterinary anesthesiologist, I have reviewed plenty of applications over the past 20 years. Internship, residency, vet school, and faculty applicants—all of these involve a personal statement. I’ve even done peer-reviewed published research on the topic. I love reading applications and, when possible, giving applicants advice. I’ve now read hundreds of WCI Scholarship essays over the last five years, and I have some takeaways from the experience.
First, dear WCI reader, you, too, can get involved! Judging the essay submissions is purely voluntary from the WCI community, and they always need judges to help spread the workload. Hundreds of essays get submitted, and they won’t just read themselves. If you benefit from the content on WCI, consider giving back by helping to judge. You’ll get a chance to read about some amazing people and their lives, and maybe you’ll have some influence on who will win a scholarship.
Second, it must be acknowledged that everyone who reads essays like these brings their own biases and perspective to the process. I remember one faculty member who liked “gimmicks” in applicants’ letters, such as structuring it like a poem or using a third-person perspective. In that same meeting, another faculty member said that any such gimmicks would guarantee that the letter writer would not get a position. No essay will satisfy every reader, and some writing styles may be offensive to some while being impressive to others. These takeaways are 100% my own, and other readers will surely draw different, possibly opposing, conclusions.
#1 People Are Amazing
Reading dozens of inspiring stories that the essay writers submitted is an incredible experience. So many of them have faced trials and difficulties that have shaped who they are. They have taken challenges in life and turned them into positive learning experiences. Many have had sick family members or friends who inspired them to pursue a healing career. Quite a few are first-generation immigrants or children of single parents, or they grew up in poverty and overcame those challenges to enter a professional program. The resilience shown by the writers is inspiring.
More information here:
2024 WCI Scholarship Winners — Inspiring Stories
#2 Medicine Is Messed Up
As a veterinarian, I don’t understand the “system” of medicine, but I understand the physiology and pathology. As a result, I am always struck by the number of stories of failure of the medical establishment in America. The young woman whose pulmonary thromboembolism was dismissed as “anxiety.” The people who put off seeking medical care because of cost concerns, only to have their disease progress to a point beyond treatment. The people who felt dismissed by their doctors, inspiring them to be a different, better kind of doctor. We have all of these situations in veterinary medicine, of course, but it seems more striking reading about the impact on a human being’s health. Reading these essays, I get a distinct impression of the medical establishment failing low socioeconomic-status people, people with disabilities, people without English language skills, and people of various minority designations. I have no doubt that individuals are absolutely doing their best, which is why I lay this at the feet of the system. It sounds like it needs improvement.
#3 Have a Narrative Through-Line
Quite a lot of the essays open strongly. They describe an experience in an engaging, clear way. And then they wander off and describe a few other experiences. Sometimes they come back to that first experience in the conclusion. But very few have a through-line that connects all the stories in a way that creates a narrative of the person’s development over time. The individual stories are compelling, but they aren’t tied together. The best essays have a single concept they are trying to impart, and they use all of the text to convey that. Go read the winners of the 2023 inspiring story essay. They all connect to a central idea.
#4 Make It Emotional
In a 2020 podcast episode, Dr. Jim Dahle was reading a winning scholarship essay, and in the middle of his recitation, he clearly got emotional. That is the response you want in your readers. You want them to FEEL something. It doesn’t need to be overwrought or dramatically tragic, but I think the best essays are the ones that evoke an emotional response in the reader. This requires not simply a recitation of facts but the use of evocative language so the reader can empathize with your experience. You don’t necessarily need a tragic life experience—everyone has challenges they have faced. Take what you have experienced and share it with the reader so they can understand you and your life.
More information here:
2024 WCI Scholarship Winners — Financial
#5 Use Words Efficiently
When in doubt, use Stephen King’s formula: second draft = first draft – 10%. The mean length of WCI Inspiring Story winners in 2023 was 1,110 words. In 2022, it was 1,013 words, although there were several winners in the 800-word range. The point is not necessarily to strive for any specific length but to make sure that all the words you use are accomplishing something. If you read through and find a word that you think can be cut, do so. It will give you space elsewhere to tell more of your story. If you find that you can’t summarize your story in under 1,200 words, get a friend to be a brutal editor and trim it down.
#6 It’s Fun
I always enjoy getting to read the WCI essays I’m sent. Not only is it amazing to read their stories, but it’s fun to glimpse into lives that are utterly different from my own. I get to see a very tiny slice of a world that someone else is a part of. I get to see different writing styles and different organizational approaches, and I learn something about the world and, sometimes, myself.
It seems like every year we have judges who end up not being able to participate for whatever reason. I know things come up. Maybe their caseload went through the roof when they expected to have a quiet shift. There’s often a call for last-second judges in these cases. Consider signing up if things are quiet (send an email to [email protected] with “Volunteer Judge” in the subject line). I happened not to have any cases when I got the call for last-second judging, so I could fit in reading another batch. Many hands make for light work, so I encourage anyone who is interested to participate in judging.
For those of you considering submitting essays, realize that the competition is fierce. Don’t let that dissuade you, but do set your expectations accordingly. Reach out to others for help, and don’t just recycle the essay you wrote for your professional program. You really do want the reader to leave feeling inspired.
Have you ever judged the WCI scholarship? What did you think of the experience? How else can we convince people to become volunteer judges?
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